Ugh... House Hunting.
- Jessica Fletcher
- Mar 2, 2020
- 5 min read
We started shopping for a house a little over a month ago. It has been quite the emotional roller coaster so far. We've had 5 houses go pending out from under us. That may not seem like a lot, but no quicker than we find the house does it go pending. I actually joked with our realtor last weekend that if I drive by it (and I only go drive by the ones I am super serious about) it sells within 24 hours of that and most times even quicker.
We have been weighing a ton of options from buying a fixer-upper to building. We don't have a time crunch per say - just ready to move. Ideally we want to be in the new house before the end of this year. While that leaves us a ton of time to find the perfect house, it is frustrating to find one that you love on paper and don't get a chance to even see it before it goes pending.
When we first started this, I did something that I am extraordinarily talented at doing... I made a list. I make lists for everything. I make lists for my lists. I guess you could say I'm a list connoisseur.
Anyway, when this first started, the Hubs hadn't put much thought into moving. He didn't do a whole lot of it growing up and to be frank, I think the idea was a little daunting. He presented me with a set of challenges and should I successfully complete each challenge I would win the talisman of his buy in. Seriously though, he had concerns and in our marriage we strive to be on the same page before moving forward with something. I love this approach to decisions, but more on that in another post.
The Hubs first concern, can we afford it? We have some debt (who doesn't? Soon we will be joining the 36% of our age group that doesn't have any debt! More on that in a future post.). I sat down, crunched some numbers, made a few phone calls and got us pre-approved for way, way, way too much money. The second concern was family. We started talking to our family and working through their concerns (this is important to us). Some of these are unresolved as of now, but we are not worried - we have a plan! And a list!
The next issue at hand was what do we want in a house. I sat down and asked The Hubs. His response - "land, a place for my shop, and two bathrooms." I love this man!
I then made my list - a kitchen with counters so big I can make bread and roll out cookies; a tub, a really big tub; a porch, covered; an office where I can write, create, and handle our side business; a room for the Hubs to hide in and store all of his toys... and so on the list went. I was in my happy place, dreaming and making lists.
When I was in college, I had learned to make lists and give them to God. This was discussed in the topic of finding a husband. What you were supposed to do was make a list of all the attributes that you wanted out of a significant other. Then pray over the list and ask God to handle it. The giving it up part was the part I struggled with the most. I'm a little bit of a control freak - you know, lists...
This idea comes from Psalm 37:4-5 in the Bible, which says:
4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.
On the surface, this seems really simple. Ask Him and He gives. Which sometimes, He does just that, but really there is much more to it than that and I had missed the boat again. Really, I had missed the verses before and after this that provide a little bit more instruction.
Psalm 37:3 "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness."
Psalm 37:6-7a "6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday. 7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;"
In college I had learned about the parts I was missing. I was missing the parts about His faithfulness (3), trusting Him (3, 5), delighting in Him (4), committing my way (5), Him working in me (6), resting in him (7), and waiting (7). Okay, okay - I just missed the whole thing. The point here is that as I looked back on the last month or more of deciding to move and finding a house, I had missed all of the important stuff again. The giving of your "desires" is more of a symptom to doing the other parts - the more important parts.
How do I apply this to buying a house? Let me explain.
First, we have to put all of our trust in Him and His faithfulness. God makes a lot of promises in the Bible and one of those is that He loves us and will take care of our needs. I must first trust him to provide a home that meets all of our needs - not my list. I need to "feed on his faithfulness." This is action - reading his word and praying. I need to be praying about our future home and reading the Word so that I can study his promises.
Second, I need to be delighting in Him and committing my way to His way. When we commit our ways to His - His ways become ours. (Say what again?) The more aligned with Him the more we desire the things He wants for us. This one took me a long time to grasp back in the day. Basically, we start asking God to make us desire the things He would want us to have. As we grow in Him our lists begin to change. So yay! Revisit the list often and ask God to help you change your heart and run after what He wants for you. Let Him do a work in you. Have I asked God what He wants on the list of our dream home? No... time to stop and seek His desires. More importantly, we three (the Hubs, God, and I) need to be on the same page.
Finally, Rest and WAIT. I am probably the second least patient person in the world. In fact, I am asking my employees to tell me things I can work on and just this week, one of them told me I should work on patience. (I'll talk about these type meetings in another post someday too.) My point is that I am not good at waiting. Resting? I haven't known how to rest since I was a student in High School working three jobs, and in four (choir, VICA, golf, and bowling) extra curricular activities.
"Be Still" is not something I'm good at, but something that is high on my priorities to learn how to do - in fact it is on my list for this year's goals. This one is getting better during the Great House Hunt of 2020. When the last house slipped out from under us, I simply said "Oh well." I know that God is making a way. I'm learning to be a little bit more patient in His perfect timing.
So new game plan! The Hubs and I sat down and made our list together. We prayed over it before and after. Each time we revisit the list, the conversation will be the same... "God what do you want? Help us to want your desires for us. Help us to make the choices you would have us make." The rest is up to Him.
Jess
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